Prince Harry has made a heartbreaking confession that has left fans devastated.
Prince Harry has shared a deeply personal account of the challenges he faced after moving away from Britain, offering a rare insight into the pressures that shaped his decision to step back from royal duties.
The Duke of Sussex made the revelations during a conversation with neuroscientist Dr Mary-Frances O’Connor for the MasterClass platform, released ahead of World Mental Health Day on October 10.
Harry, who moved with Meghan Markle and their baby son Archie at the end of 2019, discussed the difficulties of adjusting to life outside the Royal Family after years spent carrying out official engagements.
The couple subsequently stepped down as senior working royals in 2020 before relocating to the United States, where they now live with their two children, Archie and Princess Lilibet.
During the conversation, Harry reflected on how leaving a high-pressure environment affected him in unexpected ways, admitting that the adjustment was far from straightforward.
Prince Harry reveals the impact of leaving royal life
Harry explained that moving to Canada was intended to give him and Meghan some distance from the pressures surrounding their lives in Britain.
However, he said that once he was away from the stressful environment, he experienced an unexpected physical and emotional crash.
“Being in Canada, away from the stressful environment where presumably my body was just pumped full of adrenaline, within two or three days, I experienced this adrenaline crash, something that I’d never experienced before,” he explained, per the Mirror.
The Duke said the experience left him struggling to complete even ordinary tasks around the house, describing how dependent he had become on the adrenaline associated with constant pressure.
“It was as if I needed stress in order to get the adrenaline to make my brain function because I became useless around the house,” he said.
Harry added that the experience left him feeling unable to function normally without that constant stimulation.
The move to Canada came after a difficult period for the couple, who had spoken publicly about the pressures they experienced while working within the Royal Family.
Their eventual departure from official royal duties marked a major turning point, although Harry’s latest comments suggest that leaving the environment behind did not immediately resolve the difficulties he had been experiencing.
The anxiety Harry experienced before royal engagements
The Duke also described how the prospect of carrying out official engagements had become increasingly difficult.
He explained that even putting on formal clothes could trigger feelings of panic, while travelling to work could leave him feeling overwhelmed before an event had even begun.
“I started to realise that I had become seriously depleted when just putting a simple dress shirt on, the tightening of the collar, literally felt like I was suffocating,” Harry said.
He went on to reveal that he experienced panic attacks while travelling to work in the car.
The experience eventually made him realise that something more significant was happening and that he needed to look more closely at what he was going through.
“And that’s when I realised, okay, there’s something bigger, there’s something else that you need to look into here,” he explained.
Harry’s comments offer a glimpse into the personal difficulties that accompanied his decision to leave royal life, although he has not suggested that the experiences described in the conversation explain every aspect of that decision.
Harry opens up about finding happiness as a father
The conversation also touched on how Harry now balances his professional commitments with his responsibilities as a husband and father.
The Duke said spending time with Meghan and their children is central to maintaining that balance, explaining that he and his wife have a rule about not spending more than 10 days apart.
“The biggest factor for me is the energy and the joy and happiness that I get being with my family, especially our kids, and the joy and happiness I get by being on the ground for my work,” he said.
Harry explained that finding the right balance between family life and his work is particularly important to him.
“And the key to finding the joy and happiness balance is no more than 10 days away from my wife and kids,” he added.
The comments come as the Sussexes continue their independent public and charitable work following their departure from the working monarchy.
Meghan has also been promoting her lifestyle brand, As Ever, which recently unveiled a new Christmas collection. Products include a £195 Pantry Basket, a £182 Parlour Basket and a £159 Hostess Basket, alongside a £112 luxury advent calendar.
She was also recently spotted having afternoon tea at London’s Claridge’s hotel with Malala Yousafzai, following her reported return to Britain in August.
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle could return to the US permanently
Harry’s personal reflections come amid fresh uncertainty surrounding the Sussexes’ living arrangements, with reports suggesting that the family could return to California permanently within weeks.
Harry and Meghan reportedly returned to Britain in August with Archie and Lilibet after spending several years based in Montecito. Their decision prompted speculation that they were considering making the UK their main home once again.
However, reports suggest the family’s plans could depend on the outcome of an ongoing review of their security arrangements.
The couple’s children reportedly started the new school year in Britain but were withdrawn from their first school just days later, with concerns said to have centred on the journey between their home and the school.
Harry has challenged decisions concerning his security since stepping down as a senior working royal in 2020. The armed police protection he previously received was withdrawn after the couple left their official roles, and they have since relied on privately funded security in the United States.
According to the Daily Mirror, a person described as a friend of Harry suggested that an unfavourable security decision could prompt the family to return to Montecito.
“If he doesn’t get [security] then I believe he will go back to Montecito for good, and that could be as soon as half-term,” the source reportedly said.
The source also suggested that Harry could interpret such a decision as a sign that there were wider problems with the arrangements.
These claims have not been confirmed by Harry or Meghan, and the Sussexes have not publicly announced plans to leave Britain.
Royal commentators have also weighed in on the dispute. Richard Eden reportedly described the couple’s position as “akin to blackmail” while discussing the potential implications of their security arrangements, while Angela Levin expressed criticism of the possibility that they could leave if their requests were not met.
Harry’s uncle, Earl Spencer, has offered a different perspective, telling the BBC that he personally worried about the Duke not having police protection.
“As an uncle who’s seen his sister die in very, very preventable circumstances, that I would veer towards protection,” he said.
The outcome of the review remains uncertain, leaving questions over whether the Sussexes will continue their reported extended stay in Britain or return to their California home.
Harry’s heartbreaking confession
Towards the end of his conversation with Dr O’Connor, Harry turned to the loss that has shaped so much of his life: the death of his mother, Princess Diana.
Diana died in a car crash in Paris in August 1997, aged just 36, when Harry was 12. The Duke revealed that he spent years struggling to process the loss, eventually becoming emotionally numb because he felt guilty about the possibility of being happy without her.
“I’d spent so long emotionally numb, to a large extent, because I felt disloyal and guilty for the possibility of being happy and joyful without her,” he explained.
“I felt like I had to be sad and I had to be emotionally numb in order to prove to her that I missed her.”
Harry admitted that he did not cry when he was first told his mother had died. He cried at her burial, but then did not cry again for nearly two decades.
“I was convinced that was strength, but it wasn’t,” he said. “I was a 12-year-old boy with no permission to fall apart and no roadmap for how to heal.”
He also revealed that he eventually used Diana’s perfume to unlock memories of her after forgetting the sound of her laugh and voice.
Today, Harry says he thinks about his mother ‘pretty much every night and most mornings’ and keeps a photograph of her close to him.
“A lot has happened in my life in the last six years, and she has turned up at moments where it makes complete sense that she turned up in those moments,” he said.
Harry also reflected on the difficulties of grieving despite having access to considerable resources.
“You would think I had the best help in the world. I’m a prince for God’s sake, but I was still grieving and didn’t have any place to put those feelings,” he explained.
The Duke described himself as a “student of grief” and said he had gone to war twice while serving in the British Army, believing he could “outrun” his feelings.
His latest confession offers a deeply personal insight into the lasting impact of losing Diana, and his admission that he once felt he had to remain sad to prove how much he missed her.